Chanting is the Blessing that Helps Being Human

How many opportunities do you need in one day or even two days to demonstrate that you have a Buddha nature inside you that is just waiting to show itself? 

I started out this weekend thinking I was in rhythm with the universe and that I was going to be the model daughter, sister, mother and grandmother.  I have been aware of my past actions, my past thoughts and anticipating my current reality and just knew that I was prepared and in a good place to accept all that came my way..............

NOT....this is the part of our human revolution.  It is not the intellectual part, but the emotional part that I continue to be challenged by.   This weekend I struggled to be the kind and loving daughter I have chanted and thought I came to that place:  I struggled to be the supporting and loving sister I need to be to avoid any drama and estrangement as we deal with mom and her aging; and I struggled to be the loving mom that was all about the kids and not about me........

At the end of the day, my actions did not put a separation between where I want to be and where I am - but my mental angst was constantly in flux. 

I am thankful and so appreciative that there is a quick and easy way to deal with all of the issues.  As I feel myself getting out of sync with the rhythms of the universe I begin chanting and a peacefulness and calm takes over. 

I am ever thankful for this practice and know that it keeps me aware of both my humanism and my potential for Buddhism at the same time.  What a gift and blessing.

NamMyohoRengeKyo.

Heart and Faith Victory over the Mind

As I continue to chant and put my trust in the Gohonzon, I am becoming at peace with the challenges that I am experiencing.  I know intellectually that things happen to help us with our human revolution, to help us change our karma, and to strengthen our faith...........but it is getting to the place that you are not using your mind to evaluate and define what is happening that is when you become at peace. 

I know that I am connected to the positive energies in the universe.  I know that I am a strong and resilient person that always come out of things in the end.  I know that I can choose how to view everything in life - I am the author of my life or the victim of my life.  I can look at the challenges as the 'devilish functions' trying to stop me in my practice or I can see them as opportunities to strengthen my faith and prove the power of chanting to the Gohonzon.

What has been the ultimate challenge for me is to stop my mind from trying to be rationale.........and have my heart and faith take the lead.

When that happens, I know and trust that the challenges I am facing are allowing me to bring out my Buddhahood and share this practice with others.

I am victorious.......the challenges are allowing me to shine and show my faith and strength. 

NamMyohoRengeKyo

Daily Challenges - Not a Win or Lose

“While it is important to win, it’s even more important to remain undefeated no matter what happens.”  Daisaku Ikeda

Everyday I am challenged by something.  It could be as simple as deciding what top to wear that does not make me feel fat to how to take care of Mom and make her feel valued from a distance.  The reality is that each of these decisions and actions do not constitute a win.   I still get to work and look in the mirror and realize the top is not flattering.  I call Mom and realize I cannot fix her TV from Chicago and feel guilty that I am not in Grand Rapids.  I am late for a meeting, I ate too much for dinner, I was too tired to study or read, I was too lazy to exercise and had a glass of wine instead.  All daily challenges.

And, these challenges never end.  As long as we continue to breathe and exist, there will be a challenge.  The question is whether overcoming the challenge would really be a victory or win. 

Human Revolution is looking at the things that are causing you unhappiness and are causing you to act in a way that is continuing the cycle.  Once you realize what those things are, you put out a determination to change and begin to take action to ensure you do not continue the cycle.  It is when you stop the pattern, you have a win.  However, while you are doing your work to identify the patterns and deal with the day to day challenges, the key is to not give up.

To give up would be to admit defeat.  But to keep looking at your thoughts, your words and your actions is a victory in itself.  Every challenge we face, allows us to keep on the path of being a winner or to give in and admit failure.

What I love about this Nicherin Buddhist practice is the realization that everyday is my opportunity to not be defeated, and eventually I do win.........

Dancing Raindrops and Peaceful Practice

While I was chanting to the Gohonzon this morning, it was after a rain in the city.  The wind was blowing, the sun was trying to come out and drops of rain were falling from the tree that hangs over my patio.  I was struck by how symbolic those raindrops were for me.

At one point I was thinking how the drops are like reminders that sometimes you think the storm is over and then a breeze will bring out more rain.  It reminded me that in the midst of everything in life there is always going to be something that might happen that can cause me to think that the storm is going to continue forever.   Today I saw the drops as signs that there is a bit more work I need to do, or a bit more time I need to be patient, and that I need appreciate the way the each drop glistens when it hits the pavement.  What is happening around me in my life right now is happening for reasons.  Yes, there is rain and just when I think it is over some more drops fall out of the trees.  The opportunity I am being given to appreciate the rain and the sun at the same time is amazing.

My mind also drifted to how beautiful this Nicherin Buddhist practice is because I had the opportunity for some wisdom while chanting.  In the past I tried to meditate and be silent.  And while that brought me peace in the moment, I was not able to translate that peace to other times in my day and life. 

I also realized while chanting that the rain is a necessary part of sustaining the earth and life.  Without it the plants would wither and the lakes and puddles for animals would dry up.  While I am not always a nature girl, a life without green and flowers would be dull.  And that is for our lives too.  If everything was perfect at all times, how could I appreciate the perfection? Even though I am constantly striving and thinking I need to be perfect, if I allowed myself to have joy and wonder for the occasional rain drop that was going to fall with the wind, I may have more inner peace without judging myself.

When I am chanting to my Gohonzon, I may not have peace as each bit of wisdom comes forth from within, but I am at peace when I am done and that peace remains with me.  As the rain has been going on and off for the past hour or so, I am at peace knowing that it will not go on forever.  I am at peace knowing that what I am dealing with right now does not make me imperfect. I know I need to take action to redefine what perfect is.  But, I am at peace and very much in awe of how the raindrops are creating a bit of a 'dance' in the patio puddle and that I can be dancing inside too.  Continuing to have faith, to study and practice is the key to both the dance and the peace.

NamMyohoRengeKyo

Stress Leads to Finding Courage

As I was searching the SGI website for some wisdom and something that connected to me for today, I found an article about stress and the encouragement that my Buddhist practice could help me become a person that handles stress differently so that it doesn't take a complete toll on your emotions, your body and your mind.  The ultimate way to change how you deal with stress is to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo and be so focused that you:

• Strengthen your commitment to kosen-rufu.
• Take control and envision your desired outcome.
• Confidently challenge the situation with determination.

As I am dealing with the issues that are causing me stress right now, I am feeling some of the effects on my body and my spirit.  But rather than give into all that negative energy, I am increasing my chanting and taking things one moment at a time.  I am working very hard to not project a distorted outcome and to not look outside myself for blame and fixes.  I am working to remember that everything that I am experiencing today is a result of causes I created in the past. 

This keeps me grounded that any challenge I face is a catalyst for my Human Revolution and that I have everything within me to come out victorious in the end.

Right now I don't exactly know what the end will be or what victory looks like, which is why I need to focus on the second bullet point of 'taking control and envisioning my desired outcome".  In some ways I see two potential outcomes, but if I look deep within my heart I really only desire one. 

So right now I need to find the courage to create the life I want, to speak for myself, to accept the effects of the causes I created and to know that in the end, my Buddhist practice will allow my  Buddha nature to shine through. 

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo 

Life Happens - Life is Created

Sometimes things happen and you want to spend lots of time trying to figure out why.  My first reaction is to look outside and see what caused it.  My second reaction is to look inside and find fault with something I have done.  And my third reaction is to throw it out to the universe and say 'what will be will be'.

As I reflect on this today after being told that I am not meeting expectations at work, I realize that this is an opportunity to put my Buddhist practice into work.  I need to change my reactions and responses. 

First of all, I realize this is my Karma.  I keep recreating the same situation over and over again in my career.  I get a boss I don't match with, I end up self destructing and then I run away.  While I have known that for sometime, I still need to ask what have I changed inside myself to stop this pattern.  For one, I am no longer quitting a job without a job.  I am chanting to change my attitude, my actions and have acceptance of my current leader.  I am trying to look at what causes I create when I interact with her and change those into positive ones.  I have stopped complaining about her to every one I know and I am trying to honor the Buddhahood within her.  So......that hasn't exactly been successful, but I cannot stop trying.  I think of Nicherin Daishonin's comparison to being on a journey and you get so tired you stop one mile before the ultimate destination and you miss what you set out to see.  I need to continue to change by karma by seeing the Buddha nature of my current and future leaders.

Secondly, I realize that we are connected to all things in the universe and that what we put out there as a cause will happen and how it happens may not be exactly as we imagined.  I have been saying for some time now that I have reached my time.  I no longer want to work, I no longer want to put forth my best, I just want to get by.  I also have been chanting and focusing on a way to be able to support and take care of my 91 year old mother, knowing that my sister who does quite a bit of care will be out of the picture for the next 3 months due to her having surgery.  So,  I can't quit my job as part of my human revolution and yet I have a sense of obligation and desire to be a kind and loving daughter so am not sure what to do.  It is possible that this performance issue will end up in a way that determines my next course of action?

Finally, I do not need to sit and be the victim and assume that I have no influence in the outcome.  I may not have the answers, but I can take action to be sure that I will be in the place that I need to be when it is complete.  I will try and change my performance and meet my leaders expectations.  At the same time I will look for another opportunity that will allow me to be closer to Mom and take care of her.  And while doing both of those things, I need to continue to chant and take responsibility for creating a life of absolute happiness.  It is not just 'tossing out the idea', it is looking within to see what that really looks like and then taking the steps to get there............

Writing my Story

Once upon a time there was a professional woman who thought that she had to do it all.  She needed to be the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect employee, the perfect colleague and the perfect company representative.  She got so busy being perfect for everyone and everything else that she forgot that there was another person who mattered in the mix. 

This story goes on for quite some time.  This woman would hurry home from work to make supper, do the dishes, put in a load of laundry, put the kids to bed and then fall asleep on the couch and her husband would throw a blanket on her and go off to bed.  This woman would offer to teach orientation, volunteer to speak at a local trade show, do her day job and then and get excited when asked to take on supporting the international group which required travel. 

Isn’t that the way the story is supposed to go?  You keep doing what you think you have to do and what would make you perfect in someone else’s eyes and then wonder what went wrong when the husband no longer covers you, the kids are off doing other things when you get home and work is saying you are not focused and lack direction. 

Lack direction?  You are so busy trying to follow everyone else’s direction that you haven’t got a clue what direction you are really heading.

I am the story…….and while I feel like I am finally creating a happy ending; I did not think it was possible 15 years ago.  My dream of being the perfect everything and failing at it almost did me in.  I wanted to run away to a deserted island and live in a hut with some books and escape from everything.  I wanted to drive my car into a cement wall and become someone who needed care from others.  I wanted to turn back the clock and finish high school, go far away to college, join the Peace Corps and put pressures of mom and sisters lives behind me.           

An end………the story could have an end.  But that is not the way life works and for that I am thankful.  Instead of escaping I started the process of finding out what perfect means to me.  And it was not easy nor am I at the end of the journey. 

For the past 15 years I have probably bought every self-help book published.  I have visited so many churches and temples, monuments and vortexes, healers and psychics that I could give advice to anyone that is searching.  "I did this and you could / should try this too". 

While I enjoyed every moment of the experience and think that the process has been invaluable, I cannot explain or perfect the time I was introduced to Nicherin Buddhism and how it has impacted my life.    Everything I explored, searched for, evaluated for meaning, and tried on for fit came together the minute I entered the Chicago SGI Cultural Center.   

I am finally looking at Regina and deciding what is important to me.  Perfection is no longer at the top of the list.  Recognizing my connection to the larger world has taken a priority.  I am connected to the larger universe and I make a difference.  Imperfections and all……….I matter and I am making a difference one child, one co-worker, one boss, one me at a time.